God it's been a while, eh? Guess my fear of the uncertain had gotten the best of me.

After being arrested for graffitti-ing the white house with an image of a naked George Burns breastfeeding a litter of Pacific Sea Otters I was thrown into Guantanamo Bay and waterboarded on a frequent basis. After fashioing an intricate escape system using only broken plastic fork tins and a mason jar of my own urine I escaped, lived amongst a tribe of grubby, musicially-inclined British orphans and rode sandworms to gather Spice for His Divine Shadow. After a short time, however, Motley Crue's tour bus from circa 1987 drove by and I was kidnapped by an unruly group of viking midget rodies and forced to live the life of gratuitous sex, copious amounts of drugs and earbleed-levels of screeching rock and roll. I only managed to escape my months of enslavement of suffocating polyester-lycra blended fabrics and enough Aquanet to strangle a young Arty Lange and foundmyself amodst a Nazi camp. There I had some beer, told my tale and the odd Germans agreed to send me back home in return for telling them the whereabouts of Tommy Lee. Turns out they figured his blood was strong enough to be used as a biological weapon- but it was, like, totally ok and so I agreed. After a bout of moral anguish I got my ass back home in time for my birthday and had a jolly old time.

...

But seriously, yeah, still kinda dead, but I figured I should have the common decency to write that I am not completely dead and that I will be posting up more work in due time, hopefully.

Anywho... so... yes.